Sunday, August 28, 2011

British Telly Programmes

Some observations on British television:

I don't get cable or satellite, I figured I'd try "regular" television, which here is called Freeview.  As the name implies, it's free, and all you need is a digital coverter (built into my telly) and a wire to connect the telly to the rooftop antenna.  That's right, my telly (alright, enough of that) is connected to Ye Olde Rooftoppe Antennae.

Quiz Shows
Brits love their evening quiz shows.  These are, one on the one hand, pretty highbrow affairs, in that the questions are pretty challenging, and other the other hand, pretty goofy, because the guests are mostly comedians. I'm particular to "QI", which is hosted by the great Stephen Fry.  Here's an episode:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOPfymVkRZE.  Always good for a few laughs.

Evening Dramas
I won't call them "soap operas," but these are the evening drama programmes that have been running forever.  "Coronation Street" has been running since 1960, which makes it the longest-running TV drama still in production.  I started to watch "Corrie" (as it is fondly known as) to pick up on various British accents -- seriously -- and I kind of got hooked on the story after a few episodes.  Unlike American evening soaps, British ones focus mostly on middle-class people.  What I've noticed about these programs is how they are cut:  no scene lasts more than 30 seconds.  So a typical episode goes like this:

Scene 10:  Viv and Reg in Reg's flat.
Viv:  So, Reg, are we going to tell your parents the news?
Reg:  What news?  There's no news to tell my parents!
Viv:  You know what news I'm talking about!!
Reg:  And you're saying we should tell my parents??
Viv:  I'm asking you if you think we should tell them the news!!!

Scene 11:  Clive and Maude at the Rover's Return Pub
Clive:  What was all that fuss about last night?
Maude:  I don't know what you're talking about.
Clive:  C'mon, you know.  There was a regular row.
Maude:  What, last night?  What time?
Clive:  Round about ten.  Quite the row, it was!
Maude:  Get on, I don't know anythin' about a row last night round about ten!

Scene 12:  Maude and Reg at Reg's flat
Maude:  Clive says there was a row at the pub last night, around ten
Reg:  What are you doing here in this scene?  I thought you were at the Rover's Return?
Maude:  I've been in that bloody pub for the last thirty scenes!  I needed some fresh air.
Reg:  Maude, I need to tell you:  I'm secretly your brother!!

Top Gear
I'm told Top Gear is a cult hit in the US, and that they are making a US version. Top Gear is car show, with a difference.  While it's about testing out new cars, there is a bit of an obsession with very expensive cars that no one in the audience could afford.  As the show has matured, it has developed a surreal sense of humor, and the three hosts don't take themselves at all seriously.  On weekends, Top Gear reruns run all day across a variety of channels (a subject of jokes itself).

Dave
The main comedy channel on Freeview is called "Dave."  It shows a lot of standup comedy, as well as the quiz shows and reruns of Top Gear.  When it is off the air (British programmes are off the air a lot), they show a title card onscreen that says "Dave's Not Here."  Alright, they don't, but they should.

US Programs
A lot of time is dedicated to US TV programs, but the selection is pretty much limited to "CSI", "Friends", and "Two and a Half Men."  This may explain why Brits believe that most Americans are either homicidal manics or complete morons.


Sunday, August 21, 2011

London Classical Music

London is a great city for classical music. 

London Symphony Orchestra - Barbican Hall
The LSO is regarding as one of the top five symphony orchestras in the world.  I saw the great Bernard Haitink (82 years old!) conduct a Mozart piano concerto and Bruckner's 4th symphony.  The Barbican Centre is about as 70s as a building complex can get, and the lobby areas feel like being in an outdated airport (Savannah, GA, perhaps).  That said, the LSO performance was fantastic.  I've gotten used to the particular sound of the Philadelphia Orchestra, which is all about the string section.  In contrast, the LSO is notable for the brass, and a precision that you typically only hear on carefully-engineered recordings.

Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields - Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields
If you listen to classical music on the radio, you've likely heard of the Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields.  They are a chamber orchestra who play without a conductor.  While they perform in many venues around the world, their home turf is the Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields in Trafalgar Square (no, I don't know which field it is or what St. Martin is doing there).  The playing was phenomenal, and the church itself is an unforgettable venue for their (mostly Baroque) sound.  The Adagio by Samuel Barber had the audience frozen.

Royal Albert Hall - BBC Proms
The Royal Albert Hall is an extravagant performance hall on the edge of Hyde Park.  Originally desginated "The Central Music Hall," when Queen Victoria was present to lay the cornerstone, she announced "I name this place the Royal Albert Hall."  It's across the street from the Albert Memorial, one of the most excessive memorials you will ever see.


The Royal Albert Hall has no air conditioning.  To retrofit the venue with A/C, it would cost as much to tear down and re-build the whole place.


I took a tour of the RAH, and they showed us the Royal Box, and we went into the Royal Retirement Room, which is where the queen takes her break before a performance and during the interval.

The BBC Proms are a summer concert series, in their 117th year.  74 concerts in less than three month, it's the greatest classical music festival in the world.  They're call "the proms" because the audience in the Stalls has no seats, they stand for the whole performance. 

Ok, that didn't explain why they're called Proms.  Prom is short for "promenade" which means to walk or to stand.  So the standing comes in...

Anyway, the tour guide will tell you that the acoustics in RAH are the best in the world, but in the two concerts that I've seen there, there is a distinct echo.  The seats are not very plush, and they sort of rotate around about 90 degrees so that you can pivot towards the stage,

I went to Opening Night at the Proms, and though I can't remember what they played, it was a lot of fun.  The concert was televised, with cameras flying all over the place, and there was a real spirit ot fun in the air that you don't normally encounter in a classical music performance.

Then I went to Prom 37 with a friend.  We first had dinner at the fancy restaurant at the RAH, a small place called Coda.  The food was terrific, and we dined with a view of the Albert Memorial.


The highlight of the performance (if you don't count the person standing in the Stalls who fainted) was the "Enigma Variations" by Elgar, which is as British a piece of music as there is.  Hearing that piece performed by the BBC Philharmonic, among an audience of (mostly Brits) was very moving.

More to come...

Taco Bell

There is no Taco Bell in the UK.  Help me Jebus!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

London Theatre

I've been to a few theatre productions in London of late, here's a report.

The National Theatre - "Emperor and Galilean"
After the Royal Shakespeare Company, the "National" is the most prominent theatre company in the country.  Their facility on the South Bank of the Thames river is generally regarded as one of the ugliest buildings in London.  The building houses three separate venues, the Olivier Theatre being the largest with a capacity of almost 1,200.  The stage features a five-storey mechanism for scenery changes that rises from the center of the stage.  "Emperor and Galilean" is a very long, rarely-performed Henrik Ibsen play about the Roman emperor Julian.  The production was impressive -- set, costumes, effects, music, etc., and the acting top-notch. The show was sparsely attended, and the reviews were very mixed.  The only recognizable actor in the cast (of 50) was Ian McDiarmid, who played the Emperor in the last three Star Wars movies.  A healthy dose of "serious theatre."

West End Musical Comedy - "Betty Blue Eyes" at the Novello
A friend from NYC was in town, and I wanted to take them to a show that was not already playing there.  "Betty Blue Eyes" is a new (opened April 2011) musical comedy set in England just after the end of WWII.  The context is the continued rationing of food, and a secret plan to cook and serve an unregistered pig at a private dinner celebrating the marriage of Princess Elizabeth.  It's based on the film "A Private Function," which I have never seen.  The music is enjoyable, if not memorable, and the cast is terrific.  The sets have that "we're just stage sets" look to them. A very entertaining show, although I'm not sure it would make it to New York, as the setting and a lot of the plot elements are very "British."
UPDATE:  The week after we saw "Betty Blue Eyes," the producers announced that the show would be closing in October due to poor sales.

Shakespeare's Globe Theatre - "All's Well That Ends Well
A reconstruction of the original Globe Theatre, this is a open-air venue with hard wood benches, standing room in the Stalls (the bottom-center section of the audience, in the US usually called the Orchestra seating), no sound amplification, minimal sets, and if there is any music, the musicians are on stage.  Very authentic, and beautifully done.  We paid £5 for standing room in the Stalls, probably 10 feet from the stage.  Standing for 2.5 hours sounds like a challenge, but once you get absorbed in the play, you don't mind.  Terrific acting, magnificent constumes (in the Stalls you are close enough to hear the rustling of the fabric), altogether a first-rate experience.  The only difficulty is the play itself, in which the male lead, Betram, is an unlikeable jerk who's change of heart in the last minutes of the play is unconvincing, and you keep wondering why the female lead, Helena, would love such a scumbag (I guess in Shakespearean language that would be "scumbagge.")

St. Martin's Theatre - "The Mousetrap"
Now in it's 59th year, The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie is the longest-running play in history, over 24,000 performances, which is more than twice as long as "Phantom of the Opera" has played on Broadway.  It's a basic whodunnit set in a single room over the course of one evening.  The St. Martin's is a glorious old theatre palace with dark wood everywhere and a striking glass dome roof.  The plot keeps you guessing, largely because most of the characters are very odd, and curiously uncooperative with the police detective trying to solve the murder(s).  Things get pretty melodramatic, partly due to hammy overacting by some of the cast.  At the end of the play, the actors ask that the audience members not reveal the ending (although, Wikipedia does give away who the murderer is -- curse you Wikipedia!!)  A bit of light entertainment, worth an evening.

Footnote
It's a curious tradition in English theatre to have ice cream at the interval (=intermission).  Ushers sell tiny containers of rock-hard ice cream (usually Haagen-Dazs) for £2-£3.  No one knows why this tradition started, although it's likely related to the fact that most London theatres lack air conditioning.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Hamton Court Palace

Hampton Court Palace is most famously known as the preferred residence of Henry VIII, and later William and Mary.  It's a 30-minute train ride from Central London, and aside from being outrageously photogenic, it's one of the few palaces that you can take pictures in.

Approach the main gate with the unicorn, one of the symbols of British Monarchy (perhaps because it, too, is based on fiction?)

 This is the peasant's -- sorry, visitor's -- entrance:
 In the main courtyard, they have concerts during the summer, feautring some pretty big names.  here's the stage:
View of the bleachers for the performance arena:
Clock tower.
 This is the main reception hall.  The decor reflects that Hamton Court was mostly used as a hunting lodge.
This is in a stairwell.  A stairwell!

Gotta paint the ceiling
More stairwell art

Ceiling of a stairwell
Not sure which king this is supposed to be
 Nice courtyard
In this stairwell, the painting runs off the ceiling and down onto the wall
More of that:
Here's the famous 24-hour clock

Nice bed!  I think this was for Queen Mary
 The back entrance...
The gardens.  Unfortunately the weather was heavily overcast
Gardens...
More gardens
Outside the greenhouse where the vine is planted, they keep a section of ground unplanted:

 The Great Vine is the largest grapevine in the world.  It was planted in 1769, and the base is at least 4 feet in diameter.  This is the base:
More of the Great Vine

  Hey, look, gardens!
 Gotta have a fountain
  They really are terribly lovely
 The Maze.  This is a real hedge maze that you can legitimately get lost in.
 I was starting to get a bit nervous before I stumbled upon the exit.




Cost:  £16

Getting there:  Hop on a train from Waterloo station and you're there in half an hour
Kid-friendliness:  Pretty good if they are into the history.  The audio tour is definitely targeted at kids, which means I stopped using it after about five rooms.
Italian Tourist Factor:  Medium risk of Italian tourists.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Stamford Bridge -- Home of Chelsea FC

My flat is about a 10-minute walk to Stamford Bridge, home stadium of the famous Chelsea Football Club.  Chelsea's a big-time team here with a billionaire owner and money to spend on top players.  On game days, you can hear the crowds cheering from my flat.  Recently I took a tour of Stamford Bridge.

Some nice shots of the field and stands:


 The field has just been re-seeded, so we were not allowed onto it.
 Not sure about the grammar on this banner, but the sentiment is clear.

 Chelsea supporter clubs in America.  North Texas, seriously??

 Here's the press room, where the team does pre-and post-game press conferences.  The tour guide was telling us about all of the "famous" players who signed their contracts on this very desk.  Our tour guide was a lifelong Chelsea supporter (they use the word "supporter" more than they use "fan"), so giving tours was clearly a passion for him.

 Visiting team's locker room is pretty awful.

 Compared to the home team's locker room

 Since the tour was during the offseason, they can dress things up.  These are the jerseys of the starting players, hanging at their lockers.



 Goalies wear yellow, I think to make it harder for opposing players to find the goal.
Cost:  £8.00
Getting there:  If you live where I do, it's a 10-minute walk
Kid-friendliness:  Very high
Italian Tourist Factor:  Extreme Risk of Italian tourists.  They will travel in large family packs, carrying the flag of their home team (it was "Verona" on my tour), that they will photograph themselves holding up at every opportunity.

Thames Barrier

An engineering marvel, the Thames Barrier sits in the river to the east of London to protect the city from flooding due to tidal surges.  Although London's history is usually a tale of fires and wars, flooding has also been a serious problem for centuries.  You can take a boat cruise from Greenwich to the barrier.
Here the boat approaches the Barrier in the distance.

 Apparently the tide can get above the top of this sign.

The Barrier is set up as a series of "gates" that normally lie at the bottom of the river, so that ships can pass through.  When a dangerous tide is expected, the gates are raised to hold back the water.  We were lucky enough on our tour to see one of the gates raised for servicing (needless to say, the system doesn't work well unless all of the gates are raised together).
 The aluminum (I refuse to say "al-you-MIN-ee-um") domes contain the hyraulics to raise the gates.

 Here's a closer shot of the raised gate.  The yellow arm is in the raised or "defensive" position.

 The piers sit between two gates.  Here's one gate in the raised position.

 I just think these things are cool to photograph.

Near the bottom of this photo, you can see the circular nature of the gates.  Each gate is essentially a cylinder that's been cut in half lengthwise.  To raise the gate, the cylinder is rotated.

 The raised gate from upstream, gives you a better sense of the cylindrical design.

I don't think I've explained this well, so let's have the official version with this animation:
http://www.environment-agency.gov.uk/homeandleisure/floods/117704.aspx
(be patient, it starts out kind of slow, but the drama builds)

Along the cruise, you pass this abandoned old ferry boat.  Legend has it that this is the ship referred to in the song "Ferry Cross the Mersey"


Cost:  £8.50
Getting there:  Once you're in Greenwich, easy to hop on the boat.  You can also board the same boat right at Westminster Pier
Kid-Friendliness:  Pretty low, unless the kids are into engineering works
Italian Tourist Factor:  Very Low Risk